My Horror Haul

Just a quick gloat over my stash I got over the break. First off, Creature from the Black Lagoon: The Legacy Collection, which has Revenge of the Creature and The Creature Walks Among Us in addition to the original. Then with a nifty gift card I picked up Lucio Fulci's Zombie. And biggest surprise of all, The Kubrick Collection. It has to be my favorite DVD collection yet. You get horror with The Shining (obviously), a wartime picture with Full Metal Jacket, sci-fi mastery in 2001, stylistic social commentary with A Clockwork Orange, and a thriller with Eyes Wide Shut. Yeah, I don't just watch horror. More on them later.

My 5 Favorite Horror Movies This Blog

The dream is over. For all attentive purposes this will be my final post for awhile. I would love to drop in an occasional post now and then, but there will be no more traditional 3 posts a week and I will be sure to make the reviews more viewer friendly. If you do enjoy this blog send me some feed back or comments to my email at fake4444@gmail.com . My other three co writers would probably be more than happy to talk.

Grindhouse: Gorey, violent, funny, and blast.

The Lost Boys: Classic and fun.

Saw Series: Ingenious, gory, and scary.

Shaun of the Dead: Funny and gory.

Silence of the Lambs: Realistically terrifying.

Movies that Scared me as a Child: Scrooged...

Why is that the movies that scared me as a kid weren't actually horror films? I really don't know, but there is some concepts that scare us all. This isn't completely a horror movie, but I felt like doing another genre mix-up film. Plus it's almost the Holidays, so what we got here is a Comedy/Horror/Holiday/Drama/Parody in one movie starring Bill Murray. This movie I actually did find quite terrifying when I was younger. Charles Dickens, that cynical man, who wrote A Christmas Carol probably should be awarded with creating the first story incorporating an independent Holiday other than Halloween with horror. That story in general frightened me. Mainly the ending with the ghost of Christmas Future/Yet to come. The grim reaper like character tossing Scrooge either into the pits of hell after being buried alive in almost all versions could frighten any child.

Scrooged is a parody of A Christmas Carol and easily in my top 3 for holiday movies. The movie starts off innocently enough. It was like Ghostbusters, but not centered around ghosts. At the time that's all you can really associate Bill Murray with. Frank Cross, Murray, is a TV executive who wants to air a live taping of a Christmas Carol on his network. You find out that he is very narcissistic and self-centered. Cross (Scrooge-like) is uncaring towards his female Secretary (who fulfills Bob Cratchet) with her mute son (Tiny Tim like) and his brother (Another element of Dicken's book.) Through out the film the taping of the show coincides with the real time events occurring to Cross. He begins seeing multiple images and warning signs.

What's scary about this? The ghosts. When Cross' ex executive visits him in his off in a skeletal like manner. He holds Cross out the window with a bony arm that slowly breaks and he falls. Cross hallucinates and sees images of burning men and dead homeless men he overlooked. Not too mention the terrifying Ghost of Christmas Future. The other two Christmas spirits were meant to bring a more comical element to the film. One is a taxi driver with a time traveling cab, and the other is in a fairy outfit and enjoys physically abusing Murray. The story is very uplifting and well written to incorporate Dickens's without boring you to death. We all have scene the 50 versions of that story. By far the most frightening scene, as in the original story as I mentioned, goes to Cross' visit to the future. You're ex-love not giving grief of your death, knowing you die alone, a little boy's life ruined, and everyone you know you should have cared for dead. Murray being burned alive in a casket is a very frightening scene. Scared me as a kid. If you like slight horror and unique holiday films with great dialogue, check this one out for sure.

Frankenstein...

My time on Blogger is very limited. I may occasionally re post, but to any readers I will have 3 more majors posts including this one. So the name of our blog is Misunderstood Monster. Why not talk about one of the earliest monsters to grace the big screen. As I described described in previous posts about Mary Shelley's novel about Frankenstein. It was also known as the Modern Prometheus which was the title Shelley originally wrote. I'll try not to complain about the several inaccuracies that are created by Universal Studios and director James Whale. However for 1931, this is a monumental classic and breakthrough in the movie industry.

This movie was the first step into terrifying audiences. This movie represented the fears and multiple new ideas that most people thought was horrific and nonexistent. The theory and idea of a dead person being reanimated was very frightening at the time. Many audiences could not handle this idea, but Universal may have avoided more of culture shock when they didn't give the creature an ability to care and have emotions like Shelley intended. The monster in this film was given not a whole lot to work with. He is the embodiment of the Misunderstand Monster.

This movie starts off with Henry Frankenstein becoming obsessed with creating life. I think we all know the story. The names are all switched around because of the Shelley rights or something. I assume they knew this wasn't exactly true to the story. Frankenstein has a good friend named Victor and a love interest named Elizabeth. Henry also has what is now a stereotypical hunchback assistant. Fritz is the cause of unethical treatment of animals most likely. After the creature is created, Fritz decides to taunt it with a flaming torch. Not smart on Fritz's fault. There's also a pretty epic flaming windmill scene at the end. Very impressive move overall for 1931. We also got the lines "It's alive!" and one of the most recognizable Halloween costumes from this film as well. Very groundbreaking for an old-timey black and white 71 minute film. Not too mention launching Boris Karloff's career into eternal Hollywood and horror fame. He had worked in 40 previous features before landing this job.

Why is the monster the embodiment of a Misunderstood Monster. Well he roams around aimlessly throughout the entire movie. He's deathly afraid of fire. He didn't know that little girl wouldn't float. I mean how innocent can this guy be. Not to mention he was given a criminal brain to work with. Stupid Fritz. Everyone in town wanting to burn you and attack with those pesky pitchforks.

This is a very unique movie from unique time. Definitely dated, but who can complain? Some of my favorite movies from 10 years ago are dated now. If you never scene it's fascinating to see how this was the truly first major horror movie in comparison to Universal's Dracula that was released that same year. German Horror movies like Nosferatu may have been the first, but Universal made a name for themselves with their monster movies.

"Hydra will rip at your senses and plunge you into a quagmire of revulsion..."

You gotta love movie taglines like the one above. I couldn't think of a better post title, so there. But before I get to my review of Blood Waters of Dr. Z (1975) I need to say this will be my last post for awhile. I still plan to write but probably only on a monthly basis. And they won't be skimpy like some of my older posts. Alright now with that out of the way it's movie time.

So you might be confused about the poster and the tagline right now. It's because this film has a number of ridiculous names it goes by. Besides the version I saw it's also called Zaat, Legend of the Zaat Monster, and Hydra (in Canada that is). So many names for such a bad film really.

Dr. Leopold, at the very beginning of the movie, decides he's had it with the human race and takes action. This misanthropic fellow adores all sea creatures and turns himself into a humanoid catfish. A menacing hybrid to be sure, and completely unique from the Gill-man. He then goes to populate the local waters with small, vicious walking catfish and hunt down the former colleagues who didn't support him. After that's all done the doc plans his bigger scheme in one of his many rants:

"I'll cause underwater life to triumph over all other living creatures. I will adapt myself to a permanent underwater environment. All other humans will be conquered. I can not - I WILL NOT BE STOPPED! I will select a mate with utmost care, and together we will create a whole new aquatic race. But there is no time left!"

Actually most of the movie is made up of his boring rambles and stock footage of aquatic animals. Any tension it might have is ruined by some horrible editing. I'd give it a pass if you watch only good movies, but if you've got a group with the right attitude it could be worth some dumb fun. Check out Bad Movie's review and the short clip, very representative of the entire mess.

Some DIY Dental Work

Alright, Oldboy (2003) might not fit the horror bill to some people, but it's loaded with suspense and it's in the Asian Horror section on Amazon. That's good enough by my standards, especially when Oldboy is so awesome. The lead character, Dae-Su, is placed into captivity for fifteen years without any explanation. In his dingy room you truly believe he's suffering, away from any human contact. Again when he's released Dae-Su isn't told a thing. So he's out to find out who did this to him and more importantly why. Yeah it sounds like a revenge story, and it is, but where's the horror? Dae-Su is hellbent. It's unnerving to see his interrogation of one poor sap, probably the most popular scene in fact. It involves a dandy hammer and a fragile set of teeth. The movie doesn't pull any punches and shows Dae-Su using the wedge to pull some choppers out. But overall the film doesn't reach the mindless gore of a Saw flick. And best of all are the numerous, disturbing twists. I honestly can't say anything at all. Trust me, you don't want this movie ruined.

Check out Ebert's much better review (he liked it too).

Distinctively Named

The Terror (1963)? Congrats to the directors on making the most generic horror title (yes, five directors shot this in four days). Well, what first peaked my interest in this movie was the unusual cast. An old Boris Karloff and a young Jack Nicholson taking the lead roles. Weird to be sure, and probably the only reason to watch it. Now don't think I outright hated The Terror, but after the awe of seeing those legendary actors together you're left with just a boring story. Never have I had my forty winks during a movie, and this coming from the guy who was enthralled by every moment of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Granted, before watching I had just got back from an exam and a dull chemistry lecture. Maybe if I had started refreshed I would've lasted ten more minutes. But in the end I watched all of it. It just took longer than I thought it would.

So a lost Napoleon officer Andre (played by Nicholson) is weary from wandering around. He finds a woman named Helene and she gives him some fresh water. She starts walking into the sea and Andre chases after her only to get attacked by a angry hawk. Just go with it for now. After being rescued again by another woman (a little older this time) and tells him there was no Helene. Curiously enough the pet bird of hers is named Helene. Well Andre leaves a bit frustrated and comes across a large manor. Take a guess who lives there. Boris Karloff of course. Really you should have known that. And again Andre sees Helene and again he's told he's seeing things by the Baron (Karloff) this time. The rest of the movie has Andre searching the mystery behind the ghost lady.

Right, it stars Jack Nicholson, but the reason you haven't heard of it before is probably due to the fact that Jack wasn't near his prime yet. He delivers lines and that's about it. Sometimes he can even be early. But he's not the biggest problem here. Remember when I mentioned how many directors took the reigns to this mess? That probably didn't help. Scenes change in choppy fashion. And the story itself feels like they made it up as they went along. Actually, according to another review that's basically what happened. Towards the last thirty minutes so many twists and pure randomness just had me laughing. So the beginning's a bore and the end is ridiculous. If you know what you're getting into or just want to see the start of Nicholson's career or the winding down of Karloff's it might be worth a watch.

My Top 5 Favorite Movie Deaths...

Here's a list of five of my favorite movie deaths. Not all of them our from a horror film and these are the best I could think of off the top of my head. It's difficult to pick just five, but here's some of my favorites.

5. Thir13een Ghosts- Nasty lawyer gets sliced like bread. It happens quickly when a glass pane comes straight down vertically on his head cutting him in half. His glasses and tie fall off first as you quickly realize that the door went all the way through. His body slides down with trails of blood.

4. Jurassic Park- The toilet scene. I must have a theme going here with lawyers biting the dust. This guy hides in a bathroom stall from a T-Rex on route leaving the kids to fend for themselves. Walls come down and he goes down the dinosaur's stomach. Hope he finished while he was in there.

3. Batman- Joker's death. Very odd choice on my part. I have a fear of heights and when Jack Nicholson falls from the top of the bell tower. Ouch. The fall seems like it takes forever, but happens relatively quick. When the police approach his body they hear an eerie laughter emanating from an object in his pocket.

2. The Godfather- Toll booth scene. Lots of great deaths in this film. Probably the most iconic being Sonny getting splattered by bullets at a toll booth. Sonny leaves to defend his sister and set up for one of the ultimate ambushes in movie history. Very reminiscent of Bonnie and Clyde's death.

1. Psycho- Shower scene. Need I say more? One of if not the most iconic death scenes in film history. People recognize it without having ever seen Hitchcock's masterpiece. The camera work leaves the stabbing of Marion Crane up to the viewers interpretation when the knife is never shown actually in her flesh. Most people you ask believe that to be the end of the film when it is merely only one third into the film. Hitchcock kills off the main actress Janet Leigh with two-thirds to go. Impressive. Even more impressive is the fact chocolate syrup was used as fake blood. Fooled me and everyone else.

Final Destination 2...

Final Destination was an interesting movie. Seemed very original concept. The acting was tacky, but you get what you pay for. The sequel is more fresh in my mind so we'll talk about that one. The plot brings you a similar story to the first movie. A girl has a vision and intervenes/cheats/escapes (whatever) death. In the first film we got a plane crash, the second we've got a huge highway traffic accident. I guess as statistics go more people die in car accidents annually compared to air collisions/explosions/crashes. So sort of realistic in an odd way. So the dumb girl and her friends slowly learn about how death has an order to follow. She also somehow makes a connection to the characters of the first movie and gains the aid of a character from the first movie. I won't give away too much of the movie if you're really into not knowing who dies or what not. If you care stop reading.

I'll describe some of the deaths. Most of them I felt like I have seen before like the car blowing up, logs off lumber truck, and blunt force trauma to the head. However they gave three I felt were pretty unique. I love how they lead you onto thinking the boy would die some terrible death in the dentist office and toy with people's fear of dentistry. However he dies in a very random way with a huge pane of glass crushing him on the street. Wow, that was random. Not to mention how it perfectly lands on his head parallel to the ground crushing him vertically like an accordion. The second would have to be what I would call the grating death. Explosion followed with a barbed wire fence shot slicing a guy into 3. People have been chopped in half by flying sheets of metal and saws before but barbed wire fences seemed new. Finally we got an elevator death. The same mother to the poor chap get smashed with that glass ends with her neck stuck in an elevator door. For all attentive purpose the morons should have been able to release her, but I guess death extends it hand into not letting the safety or the those doors budge. Elevator goes up... Head comes off. Props for that one. A generation of people will eternally make remarks when an elevator pinches someone.

So all in all I guess I can't completely hate this film. The plot and acting may have sucked, but the deaths make up for it. A movie like this, that's all that's really important. Don't defend the plot please and say it was brilliant how she tricked death by drowning temporarily. Don't tell me the plot was ingenious how the order played out. Don't tell me that little joke with the kid blowing up in the end was funny. This was just an entertaining film for some reason and I really cannot tell you why. I've seen the first one as well and I feel both of them are at about the same level. I never made it through the third one entirely, but did not like what I saw. Third movie was bad, and apparently they're making a fourth with the same director as the second one. I will not be in line for this one but maybe will watch inattentively on HBO or OnDemand.

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein...

Sophisticated horror? This should be interesting. I watched this movie twice in my life and still am unable to decide whether or not i absolutely hate this piece of garbage, or admire it for it's obvious and blatant over usage of symbolism. Let me give you some background info on this. Back in 1994 Kenneth Branagh decided to break away from his Shakespeare films and directed a true version of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I say true version because the Universal Studios' versions and other interpretations are flagrantly flawed. The original written story dealt with much more terror as Victor creates a creature with feelings and thoughts. The creature seeks vengeance on Victor for making him a monster. This movie is exactly true to the story, but it is about as close as u can get.

This film is very strange. There is symbolism in every scene. For example, note the people who choose to wear red, notice all the crosses in scenes, the obvious light vs. dark rooms, and man vs. nature in Oh so many ways. Way to go Branagh... you paid attention in English class. In fact I had to watch this film in English class... Twice! That's most likely the only unique thing about this movie other than actually following the story line of Shelley's Frankenstein.

So what else is in this movie? Robert De Niro plays as the gruesomely disturbing creature. This isn't anything like the Boris Karloff monster at all. The whole creation seen looks gross and adds great shocking images. That's where this movie shines for sure. Branagh gives you what a reanimated man would really look like. You also have classic Branagh over-dramatization which I laugh at when he looks all psychotic. The third somewhat know actor is Adrian Quinn as the captain of the ship that finds Victor on an icecap hunting for the creature.

The plot is nearly ripped out of the pages of the book. A ship crew attempting to sail through the arctic discovers a weary Victor. Victor tells his story to the ship's captain while they are trapped in ice. Story picks up with the story of Victor's family and the death of his mother giving birth to his youngest brother. It shows how he developed a relationship with a girl named Elizabeth who was living with them. The story is much more intricate describing the relationships of Victor with his friend Henry, his father, the townspeople, and his professors. Victor attends school and becomes particular interested in a professor's experiment to create life. The dialogue with him is somewhat frightening when he sated he "was too close." to creating life. Victor's obsession makes him become a monster yadda yadda yadda. You already know he's going to succeed in his creation. A lot of the movie is simple and follows the creature as he befriends a family living in a cottage. The monster learns, thinks, and feels life just like humans. However, he cannot stand what he is and seeks vengeance on Victor. Then there is some fires and cool death scenes.

This movie hasn't stood the test of time, but definite an interesting watch for literary movie types. If you want to see what the real story of Frankenstein was go check it out. If not, i beg you to stay away from this. You will be unhappy and outraged thinking this was going to be profound film. Nope it's just impossible to take all of what Mary Shelley had to say about man and society being monsters and translate it to film. That's true for all movies though.